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| Hey xanga, i am here to vent once again.
- I dislike thinking so much. I don't understand how everything just happens all at once. It's like... there's always a time when noone talks to me and then, right when someone does. My entire world just begins to flip upside, because it feels like there's more than one guy messing it up. But maybe it's not them... Maybe it's just me. I feel like i've let go and i feel like i've been someone i am not.
- One guy is just completely doing whatever he wants. It seems like he doesn't care anymore and just feels the need to mess around now. I don't understand his motive anymore. It's just frustrating how now, that i actually need someone to be there for me instead of messing with me. I don't have him anymore. DT
- Another guy is just going around here and there. Messing with how my mind is. I probably like it just because noone has every treated me that way, but at the same time. I just don't really like it. TT
- I've gotten myself into another mess with the same guy. It bothers me i guess. how stupid i am to put myself in this situation. I know that i'm smarter than that and this problem can be easily resolved if i just tell him. I just can't believe i got myself into it.
- I love how... in such little time, i've been soo corrupted. It's stupid. I love how in such little time.. My world went from being boy-free and care-free to worrying about so many things.
- I wish that all the guys would just disappear. Or maybe the problems and everything they are doing to my mind.
- I really don't like anyone right now.. and i probably don't really want to start anything. I did, but i just feel like school is a priority right now. I feel like i'm not ready for such a commitment and i just don't want to be held down about now. I did probably a few months bak. I searched and i wanted it... but after convincing myself otherwise. All the guys recently are just too late. You guys ask me why... i don't want to be in one.. Well, i'm just not ready anymore. My mind is so flustered and i just don't want to stay up late thinking about what might go wrong in any of the situations.
- I know i might be one of those girls that are just probably going around talking from this guy to that guy. But maybe... just maybe.. if u realized i'm like this.. to just not talk to me at all. Maybe it's better for me to just keep a distance from all the guys for now. I have too much on my mind and thoughts that probably shouldn't even be happening. My life is so messed up right now. It's completely out of my own control. | | |
| This feeling that i'm getting inside. It's just not something that i want to be feeling. It's so unsettle. In a bad way. I want to walk away, but i can't bare it. I know though, that i can't just sit here waiting. The longer i wait, the faster my thoughts run. TD
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| I feel like i should close the door and walk away from you. The longing and the worrying that goes through my mind. I just can't take it. I feel so unsure about it. At first it started off as something that was just there, i began to fleel something and it became something. It was a greatly strong feeling. But now, i feel like it was just lust. It was this adrenaline rush i got. This feeling came because no one else has given me this kind of attention. I feel like u're just to out of my league. You know so much more. I feel like i won't be able to gain any control over you. I wouldn't know when u are lying to me. It's frustrating that i have to doubt u over and over the things u say because they feel like they are just so untrue. It's like a fantasy, a fairytale. The things u say to me. It just doesn't feel like it can happen in reality. I think that the story we got as our backbone is what's holding us up. I'm scared and afraid that this is just how far it's going to take. i want to know more about you. As of this instant, i don't think i even know much about u. i don't know what to do with you. U enter into my life so fast and took a hold my heart so fast. I just don't know to do. Can you please just tell me what's on ur mind? The things that go through ur head each day? if everything u tell me is true? If i'm not being a fool trying to hold on to something that's not there. It's pretty stupid to have to say this... but why did u make me fall when... u aren't going to catch me. You know how delicate i am... so why. Don't be using me as a pond in one of ur games. TD
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| I'm emotional unstable. Family doesn't understand. School is starting and i don't think i can handle it. Church school. You in my life. Thinking about everyone and everything else. TD
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| i don't want to feel like a criminal. i don't want to be the other girl. it feels like it and it sucks. TD | | |
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